Si hoc legere scis, nimium eruditionis habes

metallumai wanted to play a prompt game :D and since she's the bees knees, the cat's pyjamas and all the other superlatives but needs a good sharp poke to get her writing again, of course I signed up to play.

I asked her to write about something given to a 'thrift shop' [charity shop this side of the pond] in error and her story is here!

She asked me to write a "One Room" narrative where nobody leaves or enters. This reminded me very strongly of something so I used it as inspiration and have, to be honest, interpreted the 'One Room' bit a trifle loosely. So here you go:

( Adlestrop )

Snow Gum Films are making a Discworld movie featuring everyone's favourite geriatric, Cohen the Barbarian! As if this news isn't good enough they have released a load of photos from the first days shooting. I'm so excited about this. Cohen and the Silver Horde are kick-ass.

For anyone who doesn't know them this picture tells almost the whole story.

As for the party last night, I got less than 3 hours sleep and am still blocking out the reason for that.

As I go from place to place on the 'net I'm being offered entries into a lottery for a green card. Now, even assuming this isn't some kind of scam designed to fleece 3rd world citizens, what on earth would I do with a green card. Just because I won one it doesn't mean that I have any skills that the US of A would cherish. I bake a fantastic steak and kidney pie and can natter on about various aspects of UK history but they are scarcely relevant. I'm too lazy to be anyone's maid and far too politically incorrect to be a nanny. I dislike driving. I'll get my legs waxed the day my husband does. I can express liberal and reactionary views in the same sentence and not mean either. I really don't think I'd be an asset to the work force.

Ooh - unless - is there much call for English accents on the telephone? I think I could make quite a good sex line dominatrix. "You been a verrrrry naughty boy!"

*giggles* now I have to put that in a story.

I think - not sure but I think - that my alterna-me website is about finished. There are little pictures and some bits of stories. If anyone has a look and spots a typo please let me know here? I'm not sure how to handle comments there. I assume they are pretty hard to make. It was fun if time consuming to do. But now I know what shortcuts to take revisions should be easier to make.

Had a fright Saturday night. Huge screech and bang outside so I ran out to see what was going on and it was one of my daughter's friends - she had misjudged the turn at the bottom of the road and decided it might be better to run into a wall rather than ram the back of a car. All the kids, including Jen, are okay thanks to seat belts and crumple zones, but the car is very poorly and so is the wall. I went into 'taking charge mode', which is effective if a little apologetic - "Um - if you two could take Em and make her tea, oh and, Jen, put a bag of frozen peas on Al's knee? Now please?" I hate it when I know I'm talking in questions but it got the job done. The poor little driver was hysterical. The owner of the wall was quite calm once he'd taken in the situation and realised that a] bricks are easier to put back together than his car would have been and b] the kid's dad owns a building firm.

I can't believe that there are only 2 weeks of summer holiday left. Himself has just stopped shouting in his sleep and is sleeping soundly and properly for once. I'm turning the damned alarm off and keeping it off for the next two weeks. He may as well sleep in while he can.

Now mum's eye has completely healed from her cataract op she says too much light is getting in and she has taken to wearing a very cool pair of aviator shades that she bought on a trip to the local garage. This means that she can't see well enough to find things and she trips over that cat, but she's happy! No honest.

The cat - the black one whose tail was in a parlous state - is fine. The tail still hinges a bit in the middle but he can lift it up and wave it all the way to the tip. So bruised rather than broken thank goodness.

I have a zip file of books to review [I'm halfway through a Chandleresque noirish murder mystery at the moment. All good fun] a book to beta, another to beta again [they agreed to have me back *wipes away tear*] and my pirate story to finish. 75K words and I've just about got them to boinking point, thanks to Protagonist Kit being a self righteous arse and me not wanting to 'do it all wrong'.

Happy Monday guys and gals.

I'm so fed up with my desk chair. I bought it for one of the kids many years ago and over the years it has got very battered indeed. One of the wheels is locked, the gas lift is buggered and this weekend I spent far more time shifting around on it trying to get comfortable than I did writing. Not good. But yay for Amazon and their 'silly money off' sale! I should have something much more ignorable by next weekend. This is one case where retail therapy might actually work.

Speaking of retail, one of Mum's cats came in on Friday with his tail dragging. Fingers crossed it's not broken. It seems to be getting better, the tip twitches now and he's looking less fraught, but he looked very odd with it down. He's a real tail lasher, even when he's otherwise quite happy.

I've neglected this journal shamefully, mainly because I don't want to bore people by cross posting, but with LJ in crisis I need my blog fix!

So - um - nothing much to say, inevitably.

Oh, a lady collapsed in the castle grounds yesterday and we were very worried about her but couldn't get to her to help. She had two enormous guard dogs trained to prevent well meaning but unnecessary first aid [or someone taking the opportunity for a sneaky grope]. Dunno about you but there's not much incentive to being a good Samaritan with a 100lb German Shepherd offering to rip your bits off. Apparently it was all routine and she and the dogs went on their way happily.

Why is it that when I'm messing about online I am ignored by the family but as soon as Iwithdraw to try and write something serious and worrying that requires proper concentration the entire family absolutely HAS to come and talk to me? Probably a subdivision of Sod's Law.

I don't normally do petitions, but this is worth signing. Alan Turing was a gentle and intelligent man who was responsible for enormous strides in the genesis of modern computer technology. He was also gay at a time when that was a crime, was arrested, convicted, 'treated'with oestrogen in an attempt to 'cure' him [the alternative was imprisonment] and as a result his career was ruined and he took his own life.

Poking Her Majesties Government to remind them that barbarities have been practiced in the past and better bloody hadn't happen again is always useful.

I haven't been about for a while due to feeling bleah and not wishing to whine about it when I've got friends whose problems make mine seem trivial.

But - BUT - today is Midsummers Day and so far has been pretty damn cool. ( Read more... )

There was a young farmer called Billy
Who was terribly terribly silly.
For when out spreading muck
He would leap in the truck
And hurl it by hand, will-nilly.

ta-daaaaah