(no subject)

It's been a stressful 24 hours.
Mike had his birthday party last night which meant that the sitting room was a no-go area from 12.00 on Saturady until about 3 pm Sunday. They must have watched a dozen DVDs and were still bouncing around at 4am. Therefore, I am sleepy.
Also I have, for the first time ever, driven Pauls monster of a car. The reason for this is that we will be using it when we are on holiday and if he falls over and breaks an ankle I will have to drive it back from France. It's twice the length and a foot wider than my vehicle! I'm terrified all the time that I'll misjudge and scrape the wing on a parked car or a bollard! Therefore I was hyperventilating.
While I was out in Paul's car I saw a big grey hump in the road which turned out to be a sparrowhawk eating a pigeon. the haw didn't like the car and flew away abandoning its meal which then woke up and began to flop around. The only thing to do was kill it - it was far to damaged to leave so I had the most bizarre conversation.
Me: (to man showing friends around garden) Excuse me, Sir, but might I possibly borrow a brick?
Man: Ummm...yes. there's one over there.
Me: (fetching brick) Thanks, I'll let you have it back as soon as I have washed it.
Man: (looking slightly appalled) What are you going to do with it?
Me: Whack a pigeon.
Man: (looking even more appalled) Why?
I described what had happened.
Man: But that's not how you kill a pigeon. Wring it's neck it's quicker.
Me: (gagging slightly) But I'm scared I'll do it wrong. A brick may be messy but it's certain.
Man: Oh for goodness sake I'll show you how. Look, you hold it like this...twist and pull... See...(his hands are now two feet apart and the pigeon is in two bits and definitely dead).
Me: Right...so that's how you do it...I'll know another time won't I. Here, have your brick back.
He kept the pigeon as well, presumably to put in the bin though possibly not. Therefore, I am squicked.
Anyway to cheer myself up I have done a stupid quiz blagged from gryphonrhi's LJ:


Hee! You are Jack's "You have to find
yourself a girl, mate ... you're not a eunuch,
are you?" speech. You're quite a bit sex-
crazed, and you assume that everyone else is as
horny as you are. Get it on as soon as
possible so that you can join the rest of us on
Planet Earth ... I'm sure you'll have a good
time doing so.


Which one of Captain Jack Sparrow's bizarre sayings from Pirates of the Caribbean are you?
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