(no subject)

It will not come as a surprise to anyone who knows me to hear that my family do not generally regard me as the brightest candle on the family tree. But this morning I confirmed it in all kinds of ways and also confirmed that there is some higher power who looks after small children, drunks and idiots.

I locked myself out - it was easy. I was on my way out to pick Mum up and take her to the supermarket and I picked up the wrong bunch of keys. I didn't realise until the door slammed behind me and I focussed on the keyring and thought "Bugger".

All the windows are locked, all the doors too and I could imagine Paul's reaction to coming home and finding a window smashed and me covered in blood having tried to repair it myself (i have a track record for this kind of thing).

Now this is where [fill in deity of your choice] comes in.

My keys were actually for once on the key rack - by squinting a bit I could just see them - instead of in yesterdays jeans pocket or in the washing machine or coal bucket or somewhere. And there is a cat flap in the door. Obviously to anyone with half a brain the possibility of getting at them via the catflap was negligible but once one has the notion one has to give it a try. Laying prone on the floor I couldn't see the keyrack or keys at all, the garden cane I found was too long and knocked everything off the work surface onto the floor and because of where everything was I was using my left hand which is not the most dextrous of appendages.

Imagine my delighted shock then, when with the first poke of the cane there was a jingle and my keys slid neatly down the cane and into my hand. I was so surprised I nearly dropped them.

Now tell me there's no [deity of your choice]!