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Nov. 28th, 2003 01:39 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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camillabloom's comments about Blaise Zabini's amazing variable gender. Since I have addressed this problem in the latest instalment of the Mattress (Mattress 4 - in need of turning - up now at FA Ridd) I thought I'd put this snippet here so you can see what Blaise thinks about it all:
“What we need…,” Neville began then stopped, blushing, as they all turned to look at him.
“Go on,” Remus said encouragingly.
“Well, what we need,” Neville continued, “is someone who can come and go as they please. Doesn’t Elrond go up there from time to time? To liaise with Nurse Chappell?”
“Elrond? He’s management.” Sirius’ tone left them in no doubt that he might as well have said scum.
“No, not Elrond but I think Neville may have a point,” Remus said, thoughtfully. “In fact, I think I know the very man for the job.”
Although House loyalties should have been obsolete, it couldn’t be denied that there was some comfort to be derived from ‘flocking together’ – or writhing together in the case of the Slytherins. Snape, Mulciber and Avery had their heads together and Lucius Malfoy was listening to their conversation while keeping a wary eye on Glurrk at the next table. He still hadn’t managed to dislodge that sausage and nobody wanted to be on the receiving end of the inevitable deluge of snot when it finally came free. A few places away – in isolation at the end of the table – sat a sad figure, stolidly working his way through a heaping helping of fried rice.
“Hey Blaise,” Draco greeted.
“What do you want Malfoy?” Blaise demanded, his fork not breaking its regular rhythm.
“We need you to do a little job for us,” Harry said. “It’s right up your street.”
A few words sufficed to bring Blaise up to speed and he scowled and set his fork down. He folded his massive arms across his massive chest and his beard bristled like a tomcat. “I know what you’re going to ask,” he said, “and the answer is no! Historically speaking, Blaise is and always has been a male name. Should I have to suffer because people have ignored that fact? I am male. Look, I have a big brown beard,” he spread his arms demonstrating, “I have muscles, I have hair on the backs of my hands, I have…”
“Whoa! We believe you…OK.” Draco rolled his eyes at Harry as Blaise refastened his robe.
The raised voice attracted the attention of the older Slytherins and Lucius and Snape came to add their encouragement.
“You may well be back up there tomorrow,” Snape pointed out. “So you might as well do something useful.”
“You expect me to volunteer?” Blaise’s voice rose. “You have no idea what they do to me, do you? The pain. The humiliation. The stresses and strains of the constant shift back and forth, up and down…”
“Look,” Sirius voice grew gruff with sympathy, “we’ve all – well almost all – been there, kid. It’s tough but it’s a job only you can do.”
“For Merlin’s sake stop the self pity, Zabini,” Lucius snapped. “You are in a position to perform an act of benefit to us all. Just get on and do it.”
“And when,” Blaise demanded, “was the last time you volunteered to have your bikini line waxed?”
Back at their table they sat in silence for a moment then Harry sighed.
“Me too,” Draco agreed. “Back to the drawing board.”
Frankly, writing Draco is a pain! I can't get into the unco-operative little so and so's brain at all. In fact I don't even have any idea of his sexual preferences (other than "yes, please"). Gay!Draco is such a cliche that I don't really feel inclined to add to it. Plus it has been done superlatively well and I'm far too scared to compete with that. Het!Draco more or less demands a certain level of Ginnyness that I don't really feel capable of addressing without a sick bag. There are some very good D/G fics out there but I know my limitations and I could NOT write one. It's not that I dislike the girl but as a suitable mate for a Malfoy in my Potterverse I'm afraid she's just not up to snuff. Het!Draco with OFC - no, the shrieks of Mary Sue would echo off the hills! But can I get away with just writing him as he is at present - uncommitted. Cas gets away with it in her Sirius and Remus fics - in fact they are so self contained that I can't imagine either of them in the throes of passion - but I just don't write like that.
Shall we have a poll?
Hands up for Draco - gay, het, bi, too busy to care, devoted to Flossie the sheep. (That last was a joke BTW - I also couldn't write a good fic about the love that dare not bleat its name.)
camillabloom's comments about Blaise Zabini's amazing variable gender. Since I have addressed this problem in the latest instalment of the Mattress (Mattress 4 - in need of turning - up now at FA Ridd) I thought I'd put this snippet here so you can see what Blaise thinks about it all:“What we need…,” Neville began then stopped, blushing, as they all turned to look at him.
“Go on,” Remus said encouragingly.
“Well, what we need,” Neville continued, “is someone who can come and go as they please. Doesn’t Elrond go up there from time to time? To liaise with Nurse Chappell?”
“Elrond? He’s management.” Sirius’ tone left them in no doubt that he might as well have said scum.
“No, not Elrond but I think Neville may have a point,” Remus said, thoughtfully. “In fact, I think I know the very man for the job.”
Although House loyalties should have been obsolete, it couldn’t be denied that there was some comfort to be derived from ‘flocking together’ – or writhing together in the case of the Slytherins. Snape, Mulciber and Avery had their heads together and Lucius Malfoy was listening to their conversation while keeping a wary eye on Glurrk at the next table. He still hadn’t managed to dislodge that sausage and nobody wanted to be on the receiving end of the inevitable deluge of snot when it finally came free. A few places away – in isolation at the end of the table – sat a sad figure, stolidly working his way through a heaping helping of fried rice.
“Hey Blaise,” Draco greeted.
“What do you want Malfoy?” Blaise demanded, his fork not breaking its regular rhythm.
“We need you to do a little job for us,” Harry said. “It’s right up your street.”
A few words sufficed to bring Blaise up to speed and he scowled and set his fork down. He folded his massive arms across his massive chest and his beard bristled like a tomcat. “I know what you’re going to ask,” he said, “and the answer is no! Historically speaking, Blaise is and always has been a male name. Should I have to suffer because people have ignored that fact? I am male. Look, I have a big brown beard,” he spread his arms demonstrating, “I have muscles, I have hair on the backs of my hands, I have…”
“Whoa! We believe you…OK.” Draco rolled his eyes at Harry as Blaise refastened his robe.
The raised voice attracted the attention of the older Slytherins and Lucius and Snape came to add their encouragement.
“You may well be back up there tomorrow,” Snape pointed out. “So you might as well do something useful.”
“You expect me to volunteer?” Blaise’s voice rose. “You have no idea what they do to me, do you? The pain. The humiliation. The stresses and strains of the constant shift back and forth, up and down…”
“Look,” Sirius voice grew gruff with sympathy, “we’ve all – well almost all – been there, kid. It’s tough but it’s a job only you can do.”
“For Merlin’s sake stop the self pity, Zabini,” Lucius snapped. “You are in a position to perform an act of benefit to us all. Just get on and do it.”
“And when,” Blaise demanded, “was the last time you volunteered to have your bikini line waxed?”
Back at their table they sat in silence for a moment then Harry sighed.
“Me too,” Draco agreed. “Back to the drawing board.”
Frankly, writing Draco is a pain! I can't get into the unco-operative little so and so's brain at all. In fact I don't even have any idea of his sexual preferences (other than "yes, please"). Gay!Draco is such a cliche that I don't really feel inclined to add to it. Plus it has been done superlatively well and I'm far too scared to compete with that. Het!Draco more or less demands a certain level of Ginnyness that I don't really feel capable of addressing without a sick bag. There are some very good D/G fics out there but I know my limitations and I could NOT write one. It's not that I dislike the girl but as a suitable mate for a Malfoy in my Potterverse I'm afraid she's just not up to snuff. Het!Draco with OFC - no, the shrieks of Mary Sue would echo off the hills! But can I get away with just writing him as he is at present - uncommitted. Cas gets away with it in her Sirius and Remus fics - in fact they are so self contained that I can't imagine either of them in the throes of passion - but I just don't write like that.
Shall we have a poll?
Hands up for Draco - gay, het, bi, too busy to care, devoted to Flossie the sheep. (That last was a joke BTW - I also couldn't write a good fic about the love that dare not bleat its name.)