Summer roads

[essayel]

It's the summer. Every farmer is going to be busting his balls trying to get the hay in before it rains again. This means that agricultural vehicles will be on the roads and that they will be holding up traffic a bit. The correct response is to follow patiently and wait until they pull over to let you go past, not to scream past on blind bends, or to attempt to then fail and cram into the gap between my car and the one in front and make life so stressful I have to turn off onto the B roads.

On the single track roads you may have to pull into a passing place. Don't worry about picking up a few scratches from the hedge. They will buff out. If you insist on buying a huge SUV I suggest you learn to reverse it because one Jeep Cherokee, no matter how shiny it is, ten feet past a passing place will find it easier to back up than a Ford Focus, an old BMW, a Renault Kangoo and a cargo van. Okay so we all DID back up when it became clear what a useless wanker you were but there was no need for language like that when the guy in the Ford flipped you the bird.

Ah but dear young farmer. I wasn't laughing at you. I'd just been thinking about how the last time I rounded that bend I met the DHL van and had to back up, then I came round the bend and there you were in your pickup and I laughed at the coincidence. Then laughed even harder when I saw you were eating a big ham salad bap! I hope you enjoyed it, you pretty soul with your black hair and eyes and your summer tanned skin. Nice dog too. And your grin made up for the other tossers I'd seen that day.

All the best,

Me

Just because I love Bonnie Tyler dearly but OH the 80s!!, here's a video to watch. I snorted tea all over the cat!

Comments

[britalone.livejournal.com]

Oh no! How can they do that to Bonnie? I loved her!! There wasn't much else to love in the 80's that's for sure! lol

[essayel.livejournal.com]

It's worth looking at some of the others. There's one for Meatloaf's "I Would Do Anything for Love" that's really good.

In this case though I was blown away by the appropriate inventiveness of the new lyrics:

"Whatever kind of private school would let in these guys?
It started off as Hogwarts now it's Lord of the Flies"

I like Bonnie too. Her voice is even more gravelly now and she has a 'valleys tan' [ie bright orange] but she's a star and always will be.