And I hadn't even had cheese ...

Awful night last night. My other half had most of the bed clothes so I had to cram myself into a weird position and naturally I dreamed weird too.

See I was painting authorm's house - a nice biscuity colour, two coats - and I hadn't been there long before yakalskovich turned up and they began to talk.

To my horror I realised they planned to rob the National Westminster Bank in Ealing Broadway! And, in order to blend in, they were going to do it dressed as Breton fishermen. They had the berets and stripey matelot shirts and everything.

Then their getaway driver turned up - gonzothegreat on a Harley trike with a bad Latvian accent, claiming to have 'done the knowledge' and irana with several bin bags full of gelignite.

It went on from there - suddenly realising someone had taken all the carpets, a giant ambulatory geranium - and turned into a standard looking for something but I can't quite remember what dream.

Just thought certain people might like to know they are on my mind.