(no subject)

[essayel]

Look, I know it's silly and that I'm too old for this sort of thing - and all that kind of crap - but YAY!!! my birthday present has come!!! There can't be many 47 year old women in South Wales who have their own basket hilted rapier - especially a 42 inch rubber one. Well, latex actually but what's in a name? Think about it - a metal one could kill someone and I wouldn't be allowed to take it out of the house. But this one is very portable and you don't need protective kit to use it so my mask and plastron can stay in the loft. Mike and I can spar, as soon as he gets one of his own, and I can give his friend Robbie a through pasting - which he has been asking for for a long time. Robbie has two similar short swords but the length of my blade and my natural nastiness offsets that advantage. His youth and strength are another matter entirely - I'll have to cheat.

On another tack, the English rugby team beat the French in the semi-final of the World Cup and are matched against the Australians in the final. I only mention this (having no interest in sport myself - and for those of you who are confused about rugby it's like American football only played without armour) because it has set off a great wave of anti-English feeling around the globe. We are used to this now - after all it's perfectly justified, we owe a big apology to virtually every nation in the world (if anyone's interested I'll list them and the reasons)- and I'm quite prepared to put up with it and, again, I only mention it because I heard a brilliant little poem on the radio this morning that I thought some of you *cough*casfic*cough* might appreciate even though I can't quite remember the whle thing:

On the morning after the seventh day
Rather than stay in bed
God leaped up at the crack of dawn
And created the Welsh instead
Next he made the Scotsmen
And the roaring Irish as well,
Then he created the English
And the whole lot went to hell ~~~
The Scots the Welsh and the Irish
Sighed, resigned to their fate...
And then they all gave thanks to God
For giving them someone to hate!

I love that.

Actually, there was another point on the same radio programme. An American gentleman was saying that from a child he viewed the English as deeply sinister and dangerous people and it was only when he reached adulthood and analysed it a bit that he realised why...Walt Disney! All the villains in Walt Disneys films have English accents. Just think - Sher Khan, Prince John in Robin Hood, the witch in Snow White - the list goes on, I just can't be bothered to type any more. And the tradition goes on today - Alan Rickman in Die Hard, for instance. I think it's rather nice that we have something we're really good at. (I don't count the rugby because the other thing we are really good at is coming second - an attribute that is only admirable in bed.)

Comments

[ex-ajhalluk585.livejournal.com]

I don't think we've ever done anything really awful to the Portugeuse.

And it was an awful game. Just relentless pressure, get the other side to give away the penalty, and then have Jonny Wilkinson kick it.

Actually, I've been hoping for a French/All-Blacks final ever since my hopes of a Welsh/All Blacks final got dashed a couple of matches ago. Curtheth! I've never actually supported the England rugby side since they took a rebel tour to SA back in the early eighties.

On the other topic, I heard some Scottish-American guy say once that he'd always hated the English, and it was only after seeing Braveheart that he realised how justified he'd always been. Bless you, Saint Mel. Spreading peace and brotherly love, one group at a time. (BTW the same bloke has now been hit by lightning twice on Mel's allegedly anti-Semitic Biblical epic in Aramaic. Personally, I'd be asking my director if there was something about his relationship with God he ought to tell me).

[clanwilliam.livejournal.com]

Well, I chortled with glee over the result. That'll teach the onion-molesters to beat God's own team!

To be honest, I think one of the reasons that I religiously support English teams in sports these days is because socially they're the underdogs. It's not just that I live in England (so it's only polite) or that I'm engaged to an Englishman - the poor sods hit so much shit over their nationality.

It's a bit much when, like last night, I had a Russian and a Spaniard express surprise that I, an Irishwoman, was engaged to an Englishman. I'm afraid I used my stock reply which is "I'm part-English" (my grandmother was born here, of Irish parents), but surely these days it should be mostly irrelevant. And I find it very offensive that people should assume that I should rate nationalism above love.

[essayel.livejournal.com]

I could say the same - except that my husband of - groan - soooo many years despite sounding Welsh is actually from Castle Bromwich and originally sounded like Timothy Spall (and who could do Peter Pettigrew better, I ask?)
Nationalism surely shouldn't matter that much. Statistically there are more people supporting Manchester United in Delhi than in Manchester. Both my kids are Welsh and I've lived in Wales more than half my life ...that should count for something.

[ex-ajhalluk585.livejournal.com]

Delhi is a hell of a sight bigger than Manchester. While I'm no supporter of the Reds myself (and you should have heard what I was muttering under my breath when I discovered all the restaurants near the Lowry Arts Centre had been closed because of the Rangers game on 4/11, when we wanted to eat pre-theatre because of the Lieutenant of Inishmore)the taunt that all *real* Mancunians support City is, frankly, bollocks. I know plenty of Mancunian people who are supporters of United from birth, in good times and in bad (one of whom argued fervently though not entirely convincingly on the night of the Lieutenant that Avon would undoubtedly have shared her allegiance) , and anyway, United is the RC team, so unless you're expecting the very large Irish population of Manchester to break the habit of a lifetime and support Liverpool which no Mancunian would willingly do then they are naturally going to have a following within the city.

[innerslytherin]

You're right! And Sean Bean in Don't Say a Word! Though of course in The Black Cauldron all the characters have English accents.

And I love the rhyme, by the way! ^_^

I hope you enjoy your birthday present! I know you've been looking forward to it. Sounds like a wonderful item. And how does that saying go..."Old age and cunning beat youth and inexperience"? Not that you're OLD, of course! But older than your opponent. ^_~

Here's a funny little thing: My minister got a catelogue from the Noble Collection, and sent it home with my parents, telling them to buy my Christmas present out of there (like Arwen's made up sword "Hadhafang", which I think is simply gorgeous). I like my minister!

[gonzothegreat.livejournal.com]

You have a latex rapier and you are going to spar with your son.

You are the coolest mom ever...

As for the accents I once more direct your attention to Eddie Izzard. Dress to Kill. I don't know if it made it in the English cut, but the American version was filmed in San Francisco and he goes off on the trans-pond-inental diffrences. :)

[whiskeygirl8.livejournal.com]

Geez, they don't wear armor! They would NEVER be able to run that fast!

heehee

[essayel.livejournal.com]

Well they look like they wear armour! Helmets and shoulder and thigh pads etc. Our rugby lads wear gum shields like boxers (gives you an idea of the nature of the game doesn't it) and some players rather delightfully duct tape their ears flat to their skulls so they don't get bitten off in the scrum!

[ex-ajhalluk585.livejournal.com]

It may be worth pointing out that there are documented instances of men who did not take this precaution having their ears bitten off in the scrum.

Or as the news item of my youth commented "JPR Williams collides with lorry. The lorry spent a comfortable night in hospital and is expected to recover."

[essayel.livejournal.com]

I used to work with one, poor dear. Every so often he'd let out a yip and I'd have to straighten his neck for him with a combination of gentle massage and brute force. He had lopsided ears as well.

[whiskeygirl8.livejournal.com]

tape their ears flat to their skulls so they don't get bitten off in the scrum!

Holy crap! No ear biting is allowed in American football.

I always said that Brits are crazy! :P

[anima-mecanique.livejournal.com]

Yes, they do wear armour...well, something like it. And they still manage to get brutalized, which seems to circumvent the point of the padding. Never followed American football myself; it always looked like a bunch of large men crashing into each other at random.

Did the evil queen really have an English accent? I never noticed...I grew up with King Arthur, Tolkien, C.S. Lewis, and Dr. Who, so as a child I always thought of the English as rather clever folk, and probably thought of the country as full of fairies and dashing highwaymen. I've been told I don't sound American when I talk even though I have an American accent...damned if I know what that means, but that's probably a result of the rather Anglophiliac upbringing.

Mmmm....rapier. Lucky ^___^