(no subject)
Aug. 15th, 2008 06:12 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
essayelThe Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Awards prizewinners have been announced and they are just too good not to share.
Here are samples:
"Hmm . . ." thought Abigail as she gazed languidly from the veranda past the bright white patio to the cerulean sea beyond, where dolphins played and seagulls sang, where splashing surf sounded like the tintinnabulation of a thousand tiny bells, where great gray whales bellowed and the sunlight sparkled off the myriad of sequins on the flyfish's bow ties, "time to get my meds checked."
Andrew Bowers
And this is my favourite - the Winner in the adventure category
Leopold looked up at the arrow piercing the skin of the dirigible with a sort of wondrous dismay -- the wheezy shriek was just the sort of sound he always imagined a baby moose being beaten with a pair of accordions might make.
Shannon Wedge
New Hampshire
and the rest - http://www.sjsu.edu/faculty/scott.rice/blfc2008.htm - leave plenty of time though and warn the family as the shrieks might disturb them.
ETA - and for those who really enjoy PWP, here are the Guardian Bad Sex in Fiction Awards from 2007 the very final entry of which suggests that someone has been reading too much Remus/Domme Hermione badfic - yes it IS that David Thewlis!
Here are samples:
"Hmm . . ." thought Abigail as she gazed languidly from the veranda past the bright white patio to the cerulean sea beyond, where dolphins played and seagulls sang, where splashing surf sounded like the tintinnabulation of a thousand tiny bells, where great gray whales bellowed and the sunlight sparkled off the myriad of sequins on the flyfish's bow ties, "time to get my meds checked."
Andrew Bowers
And this is my favourite - the Winner in the adventure category
Leopold looked up at the arrow piercing the skin of the dirigible with a sort of wondrous dismay -- the wheezy shriek was just the sort of sound he always imagined a baby moose being beaten with a pair of accordions might make.
Shannon Wedge
New Hampshire
and the rest - http://www.sjsu.edu/faculty/scott.rice/blfc2008.htm - leave plenty of time though and warn the family as the shrieks might disturb them.
ETA - and for those who really enjoy PWP, here are the Guardian Bad Sex in Fiction Awards from 2007 the very final entry of which suggests that someone has been reading too much Remus/Domme Hermione badfic - yes it IS that David Thewlis!
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(no subject)
Date: 2008-08-15 05:17 pm (UTC)"Die, commie pigs!" grunted Sergeant "Rocky" Steele through his cigar stub as he machine-gunned the North Korean farm animals.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Date: 2008-08-15 05:23 pm (UTC)...whilst her coterie would doubtless be enchanted for a short while, the novelty of Janine having been raised by bats since the age of two in caves of the North-west Congo would soon wear off in seventeenth-century France...
Re: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Date: 2008-08-15 05:33 pm (UTC)That's making me laugh even harder!
*blinks*
Date: 2008-08-15 07:27 pm (UTC)Re: *blinks*
Date: 2008-08-15 07:38 pm (UTC)Re: *blinks*
Date: 2008-08-15 07:40 pm (UTC)Sorry about the eyes.
(no subject)
Date: 2008-08-16 05:52 pm (UTC)Never.